Do you ever hate your life so much that you want some sci-fi crap to happen , so that you will be rid of your horrid life?
Last year , around this time , I hated my life.
I hated my life but didn’t hate it enough to end it , I just wanted to change it , a little bit or a lot.
And to change my life I had several ways in my mind.
E.G. time travel , an alternate universe or another me , or maybe just maybe a soul swap.
Oh did I forget to mention the longing to see a werewolf who would actually be a nice enough guy?
Who could think like that?
Obviously someone whose frontal lobe is not developed yet!
Would you believe me if I tell you that I actually bought a radio just so my past self would somehow be able to contact me through that? And I’d be able to tell her to not mess up her life and not to make decisions that I made?
Or that I just wanted my soul to be swapped with another me from another universe, so that they’d be stuck with my shitty life and I will live their amazing life!
Or maybe when I randomly walk through woods near my house a portal will open up between two trees , I know very cliché but just imagine, and it will transport me to another world, a world where people wouldn’t know that I’m a failure because I didn’t score enough marks in 10th grade, or that I’m worthless because no one loves me the way they love people in the movies, or that I wasn’t going to a traditional university , or that I was stuck home with no friends of mine or no life of mine.
But of course none of that happened.
This was what 3 years ago? When first season of Wednesday was viral and everyone thought they were mysterious?
But now again , the weather is very foggy!
And I realized one thing!
Oh I don’t hate my life anymore, I don’t want to time travel or swap my soul , or go to an alternative universe.
I actually like it here.
You might ask what changed?
Honestly a lot , I worked on myself , I tried to understand myself , I tried to heal myself
And life also helped!
Yes life itself.
I realized that no one has to love me like they love in movies , and it’s okay , as long as I love myself
And seriously not scoring enough grades , that issue just kept decreasing in size.
What about the fact that I wasn’t going to a traditional university?
Well , I’m almost graduated now and I didn’t have to go through the hustle of going to a quote un quote real university everyday.
And there’s no such thing as no friends, you always have a friend or two , AND EVEN IF YOU DONT, YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT , PEOPLE CAN NEVER BE HOMES , THEY ARE JUST PEOPLE , MAYBE MORE LIKE AN OCEAN , CHANGING ALTERING VARYING , SO NEVER TRY TO FIND A HOME IN A FRIEND , HAVE FRIENDS BUT AS BNBS, IF THAT MAKES SENSE , BECAUSE YOU ARE THE ONLY CONSTANT IN YOUR LIFE, CONNECTION IS IMPORTANT , BUT YOU CAN ALWAYS MANAGE WITH YOURSELF, SO EVEN IF I DON’T HAVE ANYONE TO YAP TO ALL THE TIME , THAT JUST MEANS THAT I’M ENOUGH FOR NOW , BUT WILL DEFINITELY GO AND TALK TO A REAL FRIEND WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT ,BECAUSE YOU KNOW IT TAKES A VILLAGE!
So I just made this whole video to tell you that hang in there, your life won’t dramatically change , but you’ll understand everything , you will find reasons behind everything , you will find the will to live again , and you will definitely get your spark back.
Just keep doing your thing , there is a weird comfort in knowing that you are doing everything that you are supposed to do , keep going and something magical will definitely happen!
And what is that quote , that Handsome actor says?
I think it goes something like,
“You could be the master of your fate, you could be the captain of your soul, but you have to realize that life is coming from you and not at you, and that takes time,”
SO DEEP TIMOTHY , SO DEEP , I LITERALLY GOT TEARS IN MY EYES,
SEE YOU GUYS AGAIN
KEEP LIVING.
